Grown Up Slumber Parties

When I was a little girl, slumber parties were a special treat. They meant that anywhere from five to fifteen little girls got to stay up late, eat snack food, play with toys usually fresh from a birthday celebration, and generally have a blast. I haven't been to one since I was about thirteen.

A few weeks ago, I was invited to a slumber party at UMBC, but the invitation read, 'Not an actual sleepover' no overnight guests please!? Slumber Parties, actually, turns out to be a registered trademark of a company that promises you will leave sexy, confident and ready to be satisfied. Like a Mary Kay party at a strip club, these slumber parties invite a "sexpert" into a woman's home to sell to the woman's friends and, like a Mary Kay party, the homeowner gets free stuff when her friends spend money. Always willing to help a friend in need, I packed up my wallet and left for my friend's "sex toy party".

I don't really know what I was expecting, but what I saw when I entered "Megan's" apartment (names will be changed to protect the sexy) wasn't it. It looked more like a football party, with snacks, drinks, and people everywhere. The only difference was, no boys allowed! Though the name of the game is sex, the intrusion of men into the party disrupts the intimate, open atmosphere between the guests.

Like a Mary Kay party, there were samples. Like a Mary Kay party, different girls talked about what works for them and what doesn't. As a Slumber Party associate walked the room spraying scented this and squirting self-warming that into everyone's hands, the guests talked about their own experiences. I thought this was a pretty liberated group, but it turns out there were a lot of things we each previously thought were weird that we also all do. There were plenty of times I heard Megan's guests say, "I thought I was the only one who did that!" But as the guests grew bolder, we went from discussing general quirks and embarrassing moments to graphic techniques all without being tacky, trashy or gross.

Plenty of the guests boyfriends felt intimidated that their girlfriends were going to buy sex toys. I think they should be counting their lucky stars that their girlfriends are cool enough to bring them home breast-shaped cake pans, edible body frosting, or any number of other cool toys besides the original Rabbit that are available at Slumber Parties.

For the more adventurous, the vibrating Rabbit made famous by HBO's Sex and the City is for sale, and it comes with a hefty price tag. There are also aromatherapy lotions, bubble baths, and other items that get women in a snuggly mood without screaming for sex.

The Slumber Party is a lot more than just a trashy excuse for a bunch of women to buy sex toys without leaving the comfort of their kitchen. It is a forum for women to talk about their escapades and their boundaries, to contrast and compare, and to feel like they have a right to enjoy sex as much as men supposedly do. And when I host my Slumber Party, I'm going to post it in the paper, because who wouldn't want free stuff?